I began writing about my experiences as the mom of a child with severe food allergies (FPIES) to share a difficult story I didn't otherwise know how to tell. In the process I've been gifted some powerful stories from other mothers -- moms who felt alone and scared and found a way to tune into their hearts anyway. Many are working to heal their children without a lot of support or guidance.
My heart breaks when I hear a mama say that no one else in her life trusts her to lead the family, or that she has chosen to quietly keep her story to herself in order to avoid upsetting family or friends. Aren't mothers carrying enough without having to hide feelings that appropriately reflect their real life circumstances?
If your child is going through something then so are you. It doesn't matter if anyone else can't see it or doesn't fully understand it. Friends and family should automatically accept your experience in a way that does not discount or diminish real suffering. Whether they are able to is another story...
Fighting the fight to keep your child going is enough. Fighting for validation from others is too much. Taking care of others' feelings about your experience is way too much.
I've learned that I need a tribe that can walk this healing walk with me. Mine is made up of women who know their way around the world of healing through food, because that is the path that we've chosen for our child. There is such power in community. It's a constant elixir for the lie my mind tells me that I have to do it all alone.
It seems obvious to say but since every child is different, what every child needs is different. The same is true for us when it comes to choosing support for our children's health. Which is exactly why tuning into that voice deep inside you is so vitally important. Only you know what's best for you.
There was absolutely a time when I had my head down and was unable to begin any new relationships, much less ask for help. I was surviving and keeping my baby alive. There is no room for self-judgement at a time like that, so I allowed myself to wait for an opening. Give yourself permission to be exactly where you are today.
In the midst of wonderful support Lemon is healing from the inside out. It's clear to me and to others now. She is gaining weight, her energy is up, and best of all she feels good in her body. It is a slow process and I am sure there will be many more bumps in the road, but we don't feel their impact in the same way we once did. Step by step, day by day, tuning in and turning inward, this is the voyage.
"Open your hands if you want to be held."
If you are interested in working with me for coaching or therapy please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org for more information.
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