This Mothership is tired, and in need of a quiet place to land. I'm hoping for one with unlimited access to natural hot springs and red wine. And no kitchen.
My back hurts. The past month's holding and rocking requirements plus more than a few nights when Lemon slept on my face have culminated in some serious pain. She is off and running and I am attached at the hip to my microwavable rice sock. The good news is that I know how to fix it. I know all about how to resource and take care of myself. The catch twenty-two is that it requires energy I feel like I don't have to get the healing I need.
Whenever I do succeed at dragging my weary padunkadunk out of the house for child-free moments of inspiration or connection I feel totally recharged. I want more of that in my life. Here is a reminder about how to create this space, and why it's so important.
Please take care of yourself. You are the heartbeat of the family. Everyone plugs into you to get what they need. When you are empty or hurting the whole vibe turns to crap. This is for you and your entire family.
1) Plan your escape. Communicate with your partner, secure a babysitter, and book the yoga class. Write it on the family calendar. If it's planned you are more likely to go. And more likely is better than not at all.
2) Beware of any traps your mind will produce. "Ugh, it's easier to just stay home than to have to deal with the ridiculous preparation and fallout from a few hours to myself. It's not even worth it." Recognize these self-sabotaging thoughts for what they are and call bullsh*t.
3) Fill the tank. Actually go to the class, run the trail, meet the friend for dinner, or take the trip to the hot springs. Do not stop to ponder it, just go. You have your child care coverage arranged and the lists are made. It's time to think about you now.
4) Make it predictable. Go weekly at the same time. Even children (or partners) prone to clinging on for dear life will eventually adapt to change and the departure will become less stressful each time. The more often you do it the less energy it will take to make it happen, and the more you will get out of it. Remember that it's good for them to relate to each other without you there.
5) Let it go. You will not feed them. You will not put them to bed. You won't know how it played out. This is your time to recharge and it requires not being home. Say the prayer for protection and safety and off you go. They will learn a valuable lesson by watching how you resource to take care of your own needs.
Do this for yourself, please. In filling your tank you will have more to give your loved ones. There will be more dreaming and laughter and more space inside you. This is soul food and you know you need it. And so do they, because they are always watching. And they want you to be healthy too.
Your Higher Self
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